Sh*t My Dad Says Audiobook (Free)

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with even worse hair,’ has never minced words, so when Justin relocated back, he began to record all of the absurd things his father thought to him:

‘That woman was sexy . . Out of the league? Son, let women find out why they won’t screw you. Don’t get it done to them.’

‘Do people your actual age know how to about Sh*t MY FATHER Says comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on the heads and started fucking.’

‘The worst thing you will be is a liar. . . . Okay, good, yes, the most severe thing you can be is definitely a Nazi, but number two is definitely liar. Nazi one, liar two.’

Nearly two million people today follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Tweets, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the very best of his rates. An all-American tale that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family members road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over dishes of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t MY FATHER Says is certainly a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son romantic relationship from a significant new comic tone of voice.