Everything Is Perfect When You’re a Liar Audiobook (Free)

Kelly Oxford is .

A wunderkind maker of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not really the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to bully and almost passed right out of the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of prepared her eyesight to become 20/20

That girl who peed her jeans in the gas station that one time

Totally a specialist about strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her sweetheart

A writer

A qualified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

“Not fat enough to become super snuggly.” -Bea, age group four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to escape a speeding solution

“Bitingly funny. But everyone knows that.” -Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn’t own a falcon

An awful liar